Bernie Madoff Calls for More Wimmin On Boards

In a stunning rebuttal to everything that the right has ever said about them, femiloons have called for ambitious young women to shun Corporate Britannia and start their own businesses.

I keed, I keed!

As if that was ever going to happen! No, the usual suspects have decided to try and use the power of the state to mau mau real businesses into hiring them for Director of Eqwality Krap non-jobs....

...all of which proves, in and off itself, that men are better than women. We might believe some stupid stuff, but at least men in, say, Liverpool aren't daft enough to believe that forcing BigBiz PLC to put Paul McCartney on their board is going to make the slightest difference to their lives.

But, hey, it's like Harriet Harperson never went away!

Actually, scratch that. At least the switch from feminist hag to snivelling girly man has bought a certain clarity to the process:

Lord Davies, a former boss at Standard Chartered, said recently: ‘If companies don’t take a radical change in attitude, and hire more women at the top, then we will have to introduce quotas.'

He is expected to announce that shareholders and headhunters will be expected to abide by a new code of conduct to look for more women on their boards.

Wait, I thought the finance industry was meant to be evil?

Still, you have to say he does sum up the essential thuggery of the feminist movement perfectly. There's no pretence that it's anything other than a shakedown. It's the exact analogue to business in the Third World where you need to choose the President for Life's brother-in-law as your preferred supplier before you'll get a foot in the door.

Hell, given recent events, companies could end up moving to take advantage of the cleaner business environment in Tripoli.

But that's not the best bit - look who's chief cheerleader for this:

City ‘superwoman’ Nicola Horlick yesterday heaped pressure on the Government by coming out in favour of quotas.....

‘I am not a feminist and, as I say, I believe in meritocracy, but sometimes you have to create rules initially in order to give certain sections of society a chance.’

Yes, that Nicola Horlick!

But it's OK. It turns out that it was the fault of the regulators that Superfemiloon dropped £14 million on a guy whose empire was audited by a tiny firm from the sticks.

Hey, if Lord Mangina gets his way, looks like we'll all be getting the benefits of that kind of leadership.

Geek Baffled By Whole 'Democracy' Thing

C'mon, you know he wanted to say 'Intereferes in' here, right?

These guys are supposed to be pushing back the frontiers of human knowledge but they're still struggling with the mystery of why taxpayers get to decide where their money gets spent. All of which kind of hints at the problem.

They're supposed to be our best and brightest, but it just so happens that out of all the people who know how to do science, none of them turn out to be people who question the idea that the government should just fork over huge quantities of other people's money, no questions asked.

Their minds are open to extreme possibilities, except for the extreme possibility of hiring any conservatives. Just this once, diversity isn't a good thing. Meanwhile, anyone who questions the objectivity of results produced by a political monoculture investigating hot-button issues is clearly some kind of right-wing hack.

The Absolute Moral Authority Of The Amoral

Well, yes, this is all very well, but the real question is surely this: was Brandon Rhode 'warm, funny and blunt' too?

I think we should be told.

I also think we should be told two more things too:

• Just who's paying for Ms Murder's visit to the Sceptic Isle anyway? Would it , by any chance, be Cliff Scummer-Smith (now officially the World's Sleaziest Lawyer)?

• If the company that makes a chemical that's subsequently used in an execution has blood on their hands, how exactly does someone who raises their son as a murderous savage qualify for an Absolute Moral Authority card?

Important PC Update

New rules issued: being crazy enough to be sectioned doesn't mean that you're not perfectly capable of running the country, however any mental condition whatsoever, including but not limited to, Aspberger's, OCD and Arachnophobia, still means that you can in no way be held criminally responsible for your actions in a court of law.


Wait.... suddenly it all becomes clear.